Pur-Dah: The practice among women of veiling. (Google Dictionary)
So What???
Recently, during a holiday in Marrakesh, I was inspired to write about this somewhat controversial topic. But my views on it are atypical, and I hope that through my experience, I can shed some light into the murky and misunderstood waters of why women in certain parts of the world journey into the decision to cover themselves as this is a journey which I have also travailed over many years. It speaks of my own journey to Purdah! It is important for you, in order to understand the origins of my thoughts, that you go back and read the blog that came before this one titled ‘Cover Me-In Front of You: Part I’.
Khimār, Shaylah, Khumūr, Jilbaab, Niqab, Burqa………….Purdah
“O Prophet, tell your wives and daughters and the believing women that they should cast their outer garments over their bodies (when abroad) so that they should be known and not molested” Surah 33: 59
“Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty…… And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornment save to their own husbands or fathers or husbands’ fathers, or their sons or their husbands’ sons, or their brothers or their brothers’ sons or sisters’ sons, or their women, or their slaves, or male attendants who lack vigour, or children who know naught of women’s nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And turn unto Allah together, O believers, in order that ye may succeed…..” Surah 24:30-31
The word in Arabic used in the place of draw is يُدۡنِينَ meaning literally to pull down. At the time this was written, women (except for slave women as a public humiliation) already covered their heads. Therefore the logical explanation drawn by many men and women alike was that a further pulling down from the scarf was required. This then became the basis for the Niqab and Burqa (face coverings worn by women in the Islamic world) in addition to additional clothes (Khimār, Shaylah, Khumūr and Jilbaab) intended to increase cover and maintain modesty.
She took a veil and concealed herself with it – Gen 24:65
Whilst I was on holiday, many educated men hailed me as the most beautiful woman they’d ever clapped their eyes on. 5’7”, brown eyes, smile like the summer dawn, skin fair like fresh butter, hair like black silk-I heard it all! I was told repeatedly that I was beautiful. However what I found the most intriguing was not the admiration, but rather that with every compliment, came an offer to cover me up with a scarf. They stressed this was only an offer, but explained why they were offering me this cover. The cover was meant in increasing measures for women considered increasingly attractive as a result of the beauty of their body, mind and heart. It served as a deterrent so others would not see, not lust and not be given a chance even to look in order to understand in their minds in a way that defiles after what they saw. I didn’t object but on the contrary, it made me very happy. This (pardon the lack of make-up and totally convincing look) was the finished product, me post-hijab!
Behind The Veil
I guess what comes next might surprise some people, but I felt entirely safe with my hijab on. I felt comfortable, free to express myself more, worry free of being an object of an uneducated man’s lustful desires, in full view but hidden, somehow even more attractive, covered up. In those moments I felt closer to God, under a covering that only made me appreciate the beauty of my soul even more. When night came and it was time to take it off, I was as reluctant to do that as I was to sleep without processing the thoughts on my first day wearing a covering. Through tired eyes I read about the veil in the bible. The veil Rebecca wore in order to withhold some of her modesty from her future husband, the veil Moses wore to hide the glory resulting from his encounter with God from the people, the veil that covered the arc of the covenant, the veil in front of which the priests brought their offerings and people their sacrifices to honour God, the veil that was said by the Psalmist that God Himself used to cover His eyes from people, the veil that ensured Solomon looked correctly into the eyes to discern the soul of his beloved, the veil his love representing God’s love for His bride burned through to see the splendour of the rest of her body, the veil in which God conceals His word, the veil no one can hide behind to escape from wrath, the veil used in the temple to separate altar from the sanctuary and then again to separate the altar from the holy of holies, the veil within which one had to approach only on invitation by God Himself, lest He die. I thought of everything that made me beautiful and then I had a thought, just before closing my eyes that perhaps external beauty as portrayed by the west is the biggest deception, an aphrodisiac leading to dreams that coerce you into a parallel world, a false reality! And then the penny dropped…… I cover up for God, because of people!
Because of You!
In our western world most men have the privilege of being educated, some more than others. The least educated of them (and by that I don’t just mean academic education), tend to do things that give into their animalistic nature, like howl and growl at women walking down the street. They are led by their sexual urges, the same urges that the educated men have, but suppress to keep the honour of the woman to whom those urges are directed in the understanding that her wholeness is more important than his most basic instinct. Rapists are uneducated men, unlearned in the ways to acquire a wife (even if temporarily) whilst preserving her dignity and esteem, not knowing, they take those things away and in the process end up with a prisoner. This happens in all parts of the world, but such behaviours are a perpetrated by a relative minority of men in the UK where we live.
Now if we consider the country I holidayed in, where the literacy rate is 51% for males; then you can consider a reason (but by far not the only one) why some women may have made the conscious choice over years to cover up in a way far above and beyond that recommended and practiced across centuries within conservative Arabian culture and lifestyle. Pretty or not, when I am dressed up for a night out in London and an uneducated man scowls or wolf-whistles at me, I immediately feel unattractive and then the pashmina no longer adorns the neck but rather comes down to assert the modesty of my body by serving as a shawl to cover my flesh.
When I was young, my lack of educational completion meant that I would have felt complimented by such behaviour but as have I matured in knowledge of what my physical body has been built for, in understanding of how my body is not just a standalone object but is in fact connected to my mind, my spirit and my soul (all of which are far more important than the aging shell they dwell in), and as I have grown into the young woman I am today, I have become more secure in myself, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually also. So now such basic animalistic acts no longer do what they used to, but repel me from the perpetrators and reinforce the need for me to live a life covered more than the normal girl down the street. I figure that I haven’t become comfortable in myself for anyone to take it away from me. But I have the privilege of being surrounded mostly by educated men, both in all my circles and in general society and for this I am thankful because after being in Morocco for a week, where I got heckled by ½ the single men, I have resolved that if I ever live in a place where lack of education was so rife, I would cover up permanently too.
For God!
But people aside, if I am ever asked why I wore and why I think some women choose to wear the headscarf, I will give the only true answer to the question. Those who choose it for themselves, do it for God alone.
I do not think that a piece of ‘cloth’ is enough to simmer down a man’s attraction to a woman, and therefore I do not subscribe to the consequent view that the burden falls on a woman to ensure she covers up so that men do not lust after her (even though to an extent it does help-as in, not being almost naked in a bare excuse for clothes). A woman cannot be blamed for misconduct if she wears clothes considered normal by societal standard and the man cannot be portrayed as a helpless victim who is unable to restrain his inflamed desires. I also do not think that a covering protects a woman from being raped, sexually harassed or objectified. When it is presented ONLY this way, purely as a means of ‘protecting one’s sexuality’ and ‘ensuring order’ it reduces a woman to a piece of meat and thereby justifies the objectification. It is worth noting that any covering as worn by young Muslim women in progressive Arab countries, is never an obstacle or barrier stopping from them falling in love.
If we honestly reflect on the origin and purpose of any form of covering chosen by the women wearing it herself, we will find that it is a powerful symbol of sanctification. In the same way that a Christian girl invites all her non-Christian friends to watch her get baptised (or goes on a night out dressed a little more modestly than her friends which may not be noticed as the world we live in is quite liberal, presenting a VERY (and increasingly) fine line between classy and cheap), and a Catholic girl becomes a nun is the same way a Muslim girl chooses out of her own accord to don the veil. All from entirely different perspectives, all a stance made for God and made to associate oneself with strong belief in and deep relationship with God.
Neither Male nor Female!
I would like to point out here that same applies to men here. I decided to talk about this from a woman’s perspective because I am a woman. But there are a few things I need to acknowledge that ensures I close this piece in a wholesome manner:
1. The men who wanted to cover me were also in themselves covered, wearing an ankle length dress and having their heads and necks covered also and in the same way Muslim women choose to cover their bodies and their faces, so do men.
2. In my opinion, the female body is more misunderstood then the male body. It is hard for people to reconcile it as an element of God’s creation which has been created first and foremost for His pleasure.
3. I have specifically not addressed enforced covering because I believe people jump on that racially prejudiced bandwagon too quickly and so I do not want to be an active encourager of that. My parents ‘forced’ me to go to church for a while whilst I was a teenager and going through a faith doubting stage of life (until I made it through to a maturity underwriting my own decision to follow Christ), in the same way that some of my friends’ husbands have taken serious objection, aka ‘forced’ them for a while to curb how many nights out they have a week with their girlfriends, certain items of clothing they would wear and communication with men they had a negative relationship with prior to their marriages (until they matured into the understanding that he loves more easily when she chooses to yield to his headship even when she doesn’t always understand it). But that does not give any non-Christians the right to mock you in the process as ‘oppressed’ – or does it?
4. Abuse of the power that headship brings is wrong and unfortunately the answer in such cases when not superseded by domestic violence, perpetual adultery or death is spelled out clearly for us in the following verse….
“Be submissive to every human institution and authority for the sake of the Lord, whether it is to the emperor as supreme, Or to governors as sent by him to bring vengeance (punishment, justice) to those who do wrong and to encourage those who do good service. For it is God’s will and intention that by doing right, [your good and honest lives] should silence (muzzle, gag) the ignorant charges, and ill-informed criticisms of foolish persons. [Live] as free people, [yet] without employing your freedom as a pretext for wickedness; but [live at all times] as servants of God. Show respect for all men [treat them honourably]. Love the brotherhood (the Christian fraternity of which Christ is the Head). Reverence God. Honour the emperor…….. Be submissive to your masters with all [proper] respect, not only to those who are kind and considerate and reasonable, but also to those who are surly (overbearing, unjust, and crooked). For one is regarded favourably (is approved, acceptable, and thankworthy) if, as in the sight of God, he endures the pain of unjust suffering. [After all] what kind of glory [is there in it] if, when you do wrong and are punished for it, you take it patiently? But if you bear patiently with suffering [which results] when you do right and that is undeserved, it is acceptable and pleasing to God. For even to this were you called [it is inseparable from your vocation]. For Christ also suffered for you, leaving you [His personal] example, so that you should follow in His footsteps. He was guilty of no sin, neither was deceit (guile) ever found on His lips. When He was reviled and insulted, He did not revile or offer insult in return; [when] He was abused and suffered, He made no threats [of vengeance]; but he trusted [Himself and everything] to Him Who judges fairly. He personally bore our sins in His [own] body on the tree [as on an altar and offered Himself on it], that we might die (cease to exist) to sin and live to righteousness. By His wounds you have been healed” – 1 Peter 2:13-24 (Amp)
5. Women also have a right (if their lives portray integrity strong enough to hold the weight of their request), to make corresponding demands on men.
Don’t, by the way, read too much into the differences here between men and women. Neither man nor woman can go it alone or claim priority. Man was created first, as a beautiful shining reflection of God—that is true. But the head on a woman’s body clearly outshines in beauty the head of her “head,” her husband. The first woman came from man, true—but ever since then, every man comes from a woman! And since virtually everything comes from God anyway, let’s quit going through these “who’s first” routines. 1 Corinthians 11:10-15 (Msg)
6. My heart is to provoke you into thought! This post is not sexist in any way shape or form.
Stay Fabulous
One Love
Bella.x
The Emancipation of Bella! 